The difference between F*ck OFF & F*cked Up...

One minute we're good and the next ???

Kim Kardashian & Reggie Bush

So a friend and I were having a conversation a few days ago about people who dont communicate to a person they are no longer interested in that they want to be left alone/stop communicating & just plain end things. My take on this issue is that people are NOT mind readers. The world would be a MUCH better place if people learned to clearly and effectively communicate and express themselves so that there is no mistake, frustration, resentment or residual anger from the dumper or the dumpee so to speak. I think it is cold to just leave a person wondering why you arent answering their texts or calls when it was just "all good" a few days ago. Now I dont want my friend to think this blog is about her or her situation because it isn't. I just so happen to be going through this very thing at the moment and am recognizing how it makes me feel to be on the rejected end of the stick so to speak. I'm far from a "loser" or unattractive or a bama if you will. No issues there. I'm not a stalker or a whiner and am not desperate or needy for attention. All I ask is that in a relationship be it friends, lovers, life partners, confidant's ect, is that people communicate what they are feeling. If you dont want to be involved with a person anymore then SIMPLY SAY SO. Why is it so hard or too much for a person to just say "hey...its been interesting but I have way too much on my plate in my life right now that I just need to be alone to think and would like to not pursue anything further with you". See when people that dont want to be involved anymore don't communicate these things the door is left wide open for frustration and it definitely doesnt stop the person you dont want to be involved with from calling, emailing, texting, IM'ing, stopping by ect...thus resulting in them being made out to look like a stalker like they are just supposed to "get the hint". Im sorry for you "the dumper"'s confusion but it just doesnt always work out that way. Sometimes dumpee's just ginuinely care and are concerned about your well being so when you start acting distant and not returning calls or answering / responding the dumpee's tend to think something very serious is going on with you and they go into "caring friend" mode when in reality all you (the dumper) want is to be left alone and to end things or move on ect. Again people are NOT mind readers. Just simply say "its been fun but I need to not be involved with you because I have different things Im working on or towards that do not involve you". Stop being a scaredy cat and break the shit off. No one foot in and one foot out thing. Just simply let go completely without leaving room for the dumpee to guess whats going on with YOU. Its selfish to just cut all communication without explanation or formal discussion about it. People are becoming more and more socially inept these days. Our minds are so clouded with bull shit that we dont know the difference between reality and fiction. We just accept what we "think" is the social norm based on what we see on that damn idiot box (television) and we call it entertainment not realizing that we are totally acting out what we saw on it and in movies in our every day lives. We have to do BETTER at communication. I can garentee that if we express ourselves in a CLEAR, RESPECTFUL & HONEST way there would be less homicides, suicides, rapes/attacks ect. Its the unknown that people fear most. Remeber there is a fine line between being honest and just being a fucked up and rude individual. So why not save YOURSELF and others some time and just be upfront, be open and most importantly BE HONEST...tell the person to leave you alone if you really want them to leave you alone.

~BTJM (ButThatsJustMe)